Vanity

Yep, we go through a lot of Windex in our house.

PS: Those pink pants that are way too short for her are size 9 months ... she is only 6 1/2 months and they are already capris on her! This is one tall little girl!

Great-Grandma Hartley's Visit/Family Photos

A couple of weeks ago Lily got to meet her Great-Grandma Hartley for the very first time! GG Hartley lives in Arizona and was out visiting for a couple of weeks. We had so much fun spending time with her and introducing her to Lily. If you don't know GG Hartley, you are seriously missing out. She is amazing - witty, intelligent, kind, thoughtful, generous, organized :), and more physically active than Chris or I! It was such a treat getting to spend the weekend with her and we can't wait to see her again! Lily took their meeting to heart and inherited GG Hartley's love of oatmeal. It's true ... Lily just can't get enough! :)

Here is a picture of their first meeting.

Yep, Lily is kicking her leg just like always. :)

While GG Hartley was in town, we took the opportunity to get some family photos taken. Not everyone was able to make it but we still had a good time. These are Lily's 6 month photos as well. We are absolutely thrilled with how they came out and can't thank the photographer, Kristin Rogers (http://kristinrogersphotography.typepad.com), enough!

Lily Bug is a Lady Bug!

For Lily's first Halloween we decided she would dress up as a lady bug since her nickname is Lily Bug! Here are some pictures of her being her adorable Lily/Lady Bug self.







Lily would not smile even once when we were having the pictures taken, but I still think they turned out cute. :) There is also a funny hat with two little antennas that goes with the costume but Lily was extremely opposed to wearing it so it did not make it into the pictures.

Happy Halloween!

What a Difference a Year Makes ...

Lily on October 26, 2008

Lily on October 26, 2009

The Story of Lily's Arrival and First Few Weeks

My giant pregnant belly right before we left for the hospital - 4/12/09

Lily is now over 6 months old and I guess it is about time to post the story of her birth. I actually started writing this just after she was born but wasn't sure about posting it up until now. I have been putting it off ... partially because I am busy with a baby and partially because it is just kind of something I have tried to block out a little bit. I am sure that EVERY woman who goes through labor and birthing a baby tries to block out the pain of it and I have heard that the memory of the pain fades over time, so I am looking forward to that. :) However, this blog has been a great way for us to keep a record of my pregnancy and Lily's first months and it simply wouldn't be complete without Lily's birth story. Also, I don't really believe in posting pictures on this blog where I look horrible but I am throwing that rule out the window today. Some ladies look beautiful right after they have babies ... I was not one those women by a long shot. But, for the sake of posterity, here are the unadulterated photos. :)

DISCLAIMER: This is going to be SUPER long and a little graphic, so feel free to skip it or skim it if you aren't that interested. No hard feelings. :) Here goes ...

Lily was scheduled be be induced at 4:00pm on April 12th, Easter Sunday. Chris and I went to be around 11pm on the night of the 11th, but I couldn't sleep because of the anticipation. I wasn't all that scared (I had great confidence in my planned epidural) but rather I was excited to see the baby girl that had been apart of me for so long. The last few weeks of my pregnancy Lily was not the same kicking, active baby she had been during the first 8 months because she was running out of room in my belly. I remember feeling her kick that night though and feeling my heart flutter at the thought that I would get to hold her the next day. I eventually fell asleep around 2am and was awoken at 7am by a phone call from the hospital. They told us that the hospital was super slow and said that we could come in early if we were free. We, of course, said yes immediately and said we would be there at 10am.

Me in all my pregnant glory right before we left for the hospital. Say "giant belly!"

We showered, dressed, and put our bags in the car (they had been packed for about 6 weeks.) We also brought the cord blood kit that we had been carting around with us for weeks just in case I went into labor. We were super excited to bank Lily's cord blood and were super thankful to my parents for giving us that gift for the baby. Once we were loaded up I waddled to the car and, after a quick stop at Walgreens to do some couponing, we arrived at the hospital around 9:45am. The parking lot was EMPTY (it was Easter) and when we arrived in Labor and Delivery the nurse took us into our room immediately and got us set up. Her name was Irene and she was very funny and put us at ease. Irene started an IV in my hand, got me hooked up to an external fetal monitor, and checked to see how dilated I was. Well, first a doctor came in with a medical student and asked if the med student could check my cervix. I didn't have any objections, so the med student nervously lifted the sheet over my legs and proceeded to attempt to stick her finger in my rear end. Ooops! I calmly but firmly told her she was NOT in the right location and nurse Irene quickly stepped to check my progress herself. :) I was 4 cm dilated and 50% effaced! This was excellent news because we had been told that induction can take a super long time, even days, unless your body is really close to giving birth anyway. Irene started the pitosin into my IV at a level of 6 out of a possible 96. This was at about 10:45am.

"Hey, this isn't so bad ... yet."

The contractions started pretty quickly and were coming every few minutes. They were uncomfortable, but not overwhelming. We settled into watching a Deadliest Catch marathon on the Discovery Channel and waited for baby. My parents arrived about noon, quickly followed by Chris's dad, brother, brother's girlfriend, and my best friend's mother, Juile.

Hartleys!

Once everyone arrived, the room got pretty crowded/loud and the nurse kicked almost everyone out to the waiting room. As much as I appreciated everyone being there, it was a relief not to have to try and entertain everyone or make conversation. Thankfully, everyone understood that I wasn't in too chatty of a mood. By this time it was about 2pm and I was getting hungry. My still pregnant body was demanding food that would not come for many, many hours. Thankfully, I had ice chips to satiate me (I hope the sarcasm is evident through the computer screen.)

Hungry Mama

Right around 2:30pm I asked for the epidural. There was only one other woman in labor on the entire floor so the anesthesiologist was able to come very quickly and boy, was I thankful for that. The epidural was the part of labor that I, naively, was most nervous about. My blood pressure started going quite high and the nurse had to keep telling the anesthesiologist to stop because my blood pressure was getting too high. I don't remember what it was exactly, but I know the top number was in the 150s which is extremely high for me. All throughout my pregnancy my blood pressure remained fairly close to my normal level, around 100/60. Chris was with my during the entire epidural process and was a great distraction for me. Eventually, the epidural was in and I settled back into bed. I started to feel numb from my belly down within a few minutes and was grateful for the relief. However, I didn't realize how uncomfortable it would be to have numb legs! I kept sliding toward the bottom of the bed and couldn't push myself back up with my legs and my arms weren't strong enough to lift my entire (giant) body. At one point during labor I started crying because I was so uncomfortable in the bed and couldn't adjust myself because my legs were dead weight. I am not exactly sure why that was worthy of tears, but at the time it seemed extremely frustrating. Chris was kind enough to help heave me up numerous times and he didn't even make fun of me once for crying.

The next few hours are kind of a blur. I know that a doctor came in at some point and broke my water. It didn't hurt at all because of the epidural but I remember feeling like I had peed my pants ... but like, the most pee a person has ever peed in the history of pee. My legs weren't too numb to feel that! Around 7pm a new nurse came to my room named Leah. She was a super nice young woman who was the same age as Chris and I. She was from Wisconsin, had a fun accent, and wore a Packers bandanna on her head. I was Leah's only patient since by that time I was the only person in labor on the floor. Every hour or so Leah would come in to check my progress and things moved along slowly but without too much discomfort. Chris and my parents were in the room with me most of the time (they took turns getting food so I was never alone) while the other visitors set up camp in the waiting room. They were the only ones there so they cuddled up with blankets, books, and eventually turned off the lights and went to sleep.

After what felt like years of waiting, Leah told me I was 100% effaced and 10 cm dilated. Everyone left the room except for Chris and my mom. This was about 12:45am on the 13th of April. We had hoped we would have Lily on the 12th so she would be an "Easter Lily" but she remained just as happy as ever in my womb and decided to take her sweet time. Leah explained the pushing process to me - take a deep breath in, hold it while you push out like you are taking the biggest poop of your life, and don't use your leg or butt muscles. Right ... We started with Leah holding one of my legs and Chris holding the other. I remember wishing I had Ped-Egged my feet and painted my toe nails because my feet were nasty looking. Why that was a concern at that point, I have no idea. Then Leah had me try putting my legs on a bar and using a sheet to pull my upper body up. That seemed to work better for me and the pushing in earnest began. Leah told me that she thought I might have to push for two hours and I remember telling her I thought I could do it. However, I was getting really tired since I hadn't slept much the night before and I hadn't eaten since breakfast, now over 12 hours ago. I knew I didn't have a choice though, so I just kept telling myself that the better I pushed, the sooner it would be over.

This picture says it all. We were focused.

My doctor, Dr. Aluto, arrived at 2am. She was the only doctor I saw throughout my pregnancy which is unheard of at a military facility. We really formed a bond and I felt so honored and thankful that she was willing to come in at 2 in the morning to deliver my baby even though she had to work a 12 hour shift the next day. Dr. Aluto was a huge encouragement to me, as was Leah the nurse. They both stayed in the room with me hour after hour, never taking a break even when other nurses and doctors offered to relieve them. They must have counted to ten about a thousand times, all without complaint.

When Dr. Aluto arrived my contractions were about two minutes apart and I was really starting to feel them. I wasn't just feeling pressure like I had felt before, I was actually starting to feel serious pain. Dr. Aluto explained to me that sometimes, after an epidural is in for so many hours, it becomes less effective. By that time it was too late to re-do the epidural so the only thing they could do for the pain was to give me the maximum dose and get the baby out. Each contraction became more and more painful and I remember saying over and over that I felt like I had to poop. Gross, I know, but that is exactly what it felt like except it was like the biggest, most painful, and most lodged-in there poop ever. After about 3 hours of pushing, I felt like I wasn't sure I could do it anymore. I asked Dr. Aluto how much longer she thought it would be and she said she couldn't really estimate it. I remember really tearing up at that point because I felt like it was hopeless. I was pushing as hard as physically possible and I wasn't making much progress. I started repeated to myself over and over and over "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I asked my mom to go out the waiting room to ask everyone to pray for Lily and I, which she dutifully did. I tried to remind myself that God was in control and all I could do was try my best - He would take care of the rest. Still ... it sucked big time. Thankfully, Chris, my mom, Dr. Aluto, and Leah were all encouraging and supporting me. Finally, after another 20 or so minutes of pushing, Dr. Aluto told me she could see the baby's head and it was getting close. She got dressed in her goo-proof garb and called in the corpsmen who take care of the baby after the birth as well as another doctor to assist. She also took a huge needle and started shooting me full of numbing agent, apparently because she knew Lily was going to be big and I would most likely tear. I couldn't have cared less about the huge needle or tearing - all I wanted was to be done.

At that point, I was so physically exhausted that I felt delirious. Chris looked like death. His eyes were as red as I had ever seen them and he looked scared. Thankfully, he was solid and just kept holding my hand and encouraging me. My mom was taking pictures and kept telling me that she could see the baby's head and it was almost over. Once everyone arrived in the room, the nurse took off the foot of the bed and Dr. Aluto got ready to catch the baby. They had asked me earlier if I wanted the baby placed on my chest immediately or if I wanted her cleaned off first. I said I wanted to hold her immediately so as Dr. Aluto told me to start pushing again, I just tried to focus on the thought that I would be holding my baby within minutes. After a few minutes of intense pushing (yeah, I was one of those screaming ladies you see in the videos) Lily started to make her entrance into the world. Then everything started to happen really fast and it was all kind of a blur. I remember the doctor yelling out "shoulder dystocia!" into the hallway and having four corpsmen/nurses run into the room. One nurse jumped up into the bed with me and began shoving from the top of my stomach down. Later I learned that it only lasted 20 seconds but it felt like at least a few minutes. The pain was excruciating and I was extremely fearful that something was very wrong with Lily. Basically, Lily's head was out of my body but her shoulder was stuck behind my pelvis. This can be very dangerous, even life threatening, for the baby and for the mom. It happens in less than 1% of births and is very difficult to predict. Thankfully my doctors remained calm and were able to get Lily out quickly. Chris says there was a lot of blood when Lily finally came out and he really thought he was going to faint. Poor guy.

Welcome to the world, Lily Georgianna Hartley!

Chris was in shock, I think.

First little touch


Love at first sight.

Lily was born at 4:15am and was immediately checked over thoroughly for signs of a broken clavicle and diabetes. She was fine and had no lasting effects from the should dystocia. She was 8 pounds, 14 ounces and 22 inches of pure beauty. Unfortunately, during the trauma surrounding her birth, Lily's umbilical cord had to be cut quickly and Chris was not able to cut it nor was the doctor able to get enough cord blood to bank. I had a third degree perineal tear and the doctors ended up taking me to an operating room to get stitched up a few minutes after Lily was born. They said that was just to make sure they did the best job possible so I didn't leak poo for the rest of my life ... nice. I was glad they took that seriously! :)

Love that baby!

The whole experience was such team effort. Chris is the best birth coach and dad ever!


About to get wheeled off to the OR and giddy that I am no longer in excruciating pain. :)

I did get to hold Lily before they wheeled me off, but I did not get to breastfeed her. The nurses gave Chris a bottle to feed Lily while I was being stitched up and thus began our breastfeeding problems. I spent about an hour in the operating room (they gave me a stronger pain medicine for that little surgery and I was oh so thankful to be numb once again.)

I returned to my labor and delivery room to find Chris asleep and my mom holding little Lily. Soon after, my dad and Julie came into the room and got their first turn holding Lily. I remember crying super hard when I saw my dad and just being so thankful that they were all there. They were all such troopers to hang in there so long! Chet, Zack, and Carizza ended up having to leave somewhere around 3am because Chet had to be at work Monday morning. I felt so bad that they waited for so long and didn't even get to see the baby!

We were both crying pretty hard.

Julie and Lily ... Julie was such a trooper and I was SO happy she came to support us!


Grandma Kathy and Lily


Grandpa Bill and Lily

After a few hours in labor and delivery, they moved us over to the postpartum room. I think it was about 9am. My pain medicine had worn off and I was really beginning to feel bad. No sleep + no food + lots of pain + lots of trauma = a very unhappy Megan. My dad left soon we arrived in postpartum to get some sleep at our house in San Diego. That left Chris, my mom, and I alone with Lily. She was a very unhappy, screaming baby. The nurses kept coming in to test her blood sugar every couple of hours and every time they poked her she screamed for what felt like forever. She was also throwing up like crazy. "How can a baby who has barely eaten anything in her entire life throw up so much?" you ask? We were confused too. The nurse informed us that sometimes when labor is long and not progressing very quickly the baby can become lodged in a bad position and swallow a lot of amniotic fluid. This fluid is very acidic and can't be digested by the baby, so she has to throw it up. By this time, we were feeling pretty darn sorry for our new baby girl.

The biggest problem with Lily's throwing up happened about 2pm on April 13th. Our new nurse, Kathy, was in the room with us talking to us about how we had to watch a video before we could be discharged. She also was showing us how to use the snot-sucker bulb to help Lily get the throw up out of her mouth because she wasn't really spitting it out very well. Lily was lying in her little incubator across the room from my bed, finally sleeping. As my mom, Chris, and I listened to the nurse all of a sudden the nurse looked over at Lily and noticed that she was blue. The nurse rushed over, picked her up, and started to pound on her back. Lily had vomited and been unable to get it out of her mouth, so she had choked on it and wasn't getting enough air. The nurse rushed her out of our room and into the nursery where they promptly got her breathing normally and then suctioned Lily's little stomach to get the rest of the amniotic fluid out. My mom and I were wrecks. Chris was composed but I think he was just too tired to react very strongly to anything by that time. From that point on someone was holding Lily or watching her in her incubator all of the time until we left the hospital.

Lily's gag reflux was super sensitive because of all of the barfing she was doing and every time we tried to breastfeed she would gag and throw up. Once they suctioned her stomach she seemed to feel a little better and we were finally able to start breastfeeding. The nurse helped us get started and Lily latched on well after a few tries. She nursed for about 30 minutes on one boob and by the end of that time, I was dying. My nipple was as flat as a pancake and I was in a lot of pain. Sidenote: My boob was so messed up from that one feeding that it didn't heal for two weeks. The nurse came in to help and when she saw my boob she said "Yeah, that's not right. Something is wrong." Umm ... yeah. After trying unsuccessfully to get Lily to nurse on the other boob at the next feeding I was feeling very discouraged and Lily was screaming her head off because she was hungry. Everyone kept saying that newborn babies don't need very much food because their tummies are so tiny but Lily just kept screaming and screaming. Both Chris and I agreed that she had to be hungry, and I knew there was no way I was going to be able to endure another breastfeeding session, so I tried to pump some breast milk for her. No dice. A little tiny bit of colostrum came out, but not enough to transfer to a bottle and then feed her. Finally, around 3am on April 14th, we broke down and asked for some formula. I had done a lot of research on breastfeeding before Lily was born and I knew that those first few breastfeeding sessions were really important, both for Lily to learn to breastfeed and to signal to my body to send in the milk. I felt defeated and confused when we had to ask for the formula, but our baby was starving and I just couldn't give her the food she needed. Once we fed her the formula she was a much happier baby. She finally started sleeping (we were told that newborns spend much of their first days sleeping but she was almost 24 hours old and had only slept a few minutes at a time on and off.) Chris and I were beyond exhausted and I remember one of us looking at the other and asking "What did we get ourselves into?" We had no idea a baby could cry for so many hours!

The next morning we went to a breastfeeding class offered by the hospital. It didn't teach us anything we didn't already know. We really had done our research before the baby was born - we knew all about the different kinds of holds, how often to feed her to maximize my milk supply, how to get Lily to latch on properly ... we were doing everything right but it was just excruciatingly painful. My post-baby hormones were going crazy and I was feeling like a complete failure as a mother. I had heard all of my life how my mom had breastfed me until I could hold a cup and I wanted so badly to give that gift to my baby. After the breastfeeding class we still didn't know why we were having problems, so we made an appointment with a lactation consultant at the hospital.

The lactation consultant came to our room at 1pm and almost immediately told us that Lily was tongue tied. That is why it was so painful when she was feeding. Apparently the tongue tie was pretty severe. I was bummed that Lily had an issue, but I was so relieved that it wasn't my fault. The lactation consultant told us that we could get her tongue clipped or we could try a nipple shield. Lily had been through so much in her less than 48 hours of life that we couldn't imagine putting her through another painful procedure. We opted to try the nipple shield and, with the help of the lactation consultant, it seemed as though that was a good solution. She also told us that since Lily was such a large baby and she was a week late, she needed more food than the average newborn and that was probably the source of all that screaming. She recommended we supplement formula through a complicated tube device until my milk came in. We never really mastered that, but we left the hospital that afternoon (Tuesday, the 14th) feeling like we could use the nipple shield and still breastfeed even with the complication of the tongue tie.

Our first few days at home with Lily were difficult. We were relieved to be back in our own home but I was still quite paranoid about her throwing up and not noticing it. That scare in the hospital made me realize just how fragile she was and all I could imagine were horrible scenarios. I had only slept about 6 hours total during our 3 days at the hospital and Chris hadn't slept much more. We were at each other's throats. He was frustrated with me for being so paranoid about Lily's safety and I was frustrated with him for not being paranoid enough. My hormones were going crazy and I was crying at least once an hour. I am not a big cryer normally so neither Chris nor I knew how to handle that. Thankfully my parents were in San Diego with us to help with Lily. Even with four adults taking care of one baby, we were all being run ragged. She was just such a screamer! I would try to nurse her with the nipple shield but it never worked as well as it did in the hospital because she just wasn't getting enough milk. I would feed her and then she would scream until we gave her some formula.

When we went to Lily's pediatrician appointment on Thursday, April 16th, Lily had lost almost a pound from her birth weight. Her pediatrician was concerned that she wasn't getting enough food and wouldn't be able to get enough food because of her tongue tie. He told us that unless we wanted to get her tongue clipped, we might want to consider switching to all formula to make sure she was getting the nutrition she needed. At that point I had only slept maybe 15 hours since Lily was born and the idea of other people being able to feed Lily and stop the screaming was more than appealing. Chris and I decided that formula feeding was the way to go.

I was okay with the formula decision for about two hours. Ha! Then I decided I had to keep trying to breastfeed. When I look back now, I don't know why I was so concerned about it. Plenty of babies are formula fed and do just great but I just felt like I wanted to give Lily the best start in life and, to me, that required breast feeding. We ended up going to Babies R Us to rent a hospital grade breast pump and I began pumping every three hours and feeding Lily with a bottle. I did that for two days and my milk was really starting to come in ... and then I got sick. I got SO sick. I had some sort of stomach virus that gave me the worst diarrhea of my life and also made me throw up a lot. I got super dehydrated, had to go to the emergency room to get an IV, and that really messed up my ability to pump. Not only did I go almost two days without pumping at all while I was recovering but being so dehydrated really hurt my milk supply. Once I felt well enough to start pumping again I was only producing about 1/3 of the amount of milk Lily was drinking each day and we were giving her 2/3 formula.

Lily was a difficult newborn only because she wanted to be held all of the time and because of her feeding issues. She did not sleep longer than 20 minutes at a time unless someone was holding her. I am not exagerating. I eventually learned how to sleep with her on my chest on the couch and that is how I survived those first few weeks because she simply would not sleep in her bassinet. Thankfully I had my parents and Chris around to help me accommodate Lily's needs but Chris had to go back to work on the 20th, just 7 days after Lily was born. We were also in the midst of moving so even when Chris came home from work he had to pack since I wasn't able to do much packing while taking care of Lily. My parents also had to resume their normal lives so by Wednesday the 22nd I was on my own with Lily during the day. This made pumping much more difficult. I tried pumping while she was sleeping but she would ALWAYS wake up within a few minutes of my putting her down and then I would just have to listen to her scream for 15 minutes while I finished pumping. It was excruciating. Between feeding Lily, pumping, and washing that stupid pump and her bottles I was dying a slow death. I was still not sleeping well and I was still paranoid that something horrible was going to happen to my precious baby. Waking up in the middle of the night to pump was just making things even more difficult. Something had to give ...

I came to the conclusion that for my own sanity I could not continue pumping so much. We saw a second lactation consultant (she actually came to our house) and she gave us some tips on using the nipple shield and suggested we reconsider getting Lily's tongue clipped. Neither Lily nor I liked the nipple shield and at Lily's two week doctor's appointment her pediatrician agreed that clipping her tongue was a good idea. We made an appointment to see the tongue clipping doctor the following week (he was out of town that week.) I kept willing myself to keep pumping until that appointment because I knew I needed to keep my milk supply up as much as possible. I'll be honest though ... I was not very pleasant about it. I never referred to the pump without attaching the words "stupid" or "dumb" in front of it. Chris was SUCH a trooper through the whole ordeal. If I were him I would have told myself to either stop whining or stop pumping. He is such a gem!

Don't worry, I'm almost done. :) Lily had her tongue clipped when she was about 3 weeks old and it was horrible. She was screaming and screaming and I felt so bad to be putting her through that pain! Once the deed was done we tried breast feeding right away with the help of yet a third lactation consultant. I could not even count how many doctors/nurses/consultants have seen or had their hands on my breasts by this point. Lily was NOT having it. The lactation consultant told us that sometimes babies just get so used to having bottles that they simply cannot learn to breast feed after a certain point. We were with him (yes, a male lactation consultant ... weird, right?) for two hours trying to get her to feed and she wouldn't. Chris and I eventually left the doctor's office with our screaming child and went home feeling SO defeated.

I tried to breast feed Lily at every feeding for two more days. She never took a drop. That was when I threw in the towel. Looking back on the situation I am glad that I tried everything I could but I really was killing myself over something that I should not have been so worried about. I was so afraid that Lily was going to get sick because she wasn't going to have the immunity provided by breast milk. And of course everyone I spoke to had an opinion on the issue ... let's just say some people are less than kind in their feelings toward formula feeding mothers. I had people tell me that formula fed babies have lower IQs, that Lily was going to get swine flu, that she formula babies have higher rates of SIDS, and other horrible things that no new mother really needs to hear. To this day I still have someone ask at least once a week "Are you breastfeeding?" and I have that pang of guilt in my heart before I reply "No, that just didn't work out for us." I SO wish I had been able to just tough it out and continue pumping for Lily but I know that I made the best choice for both of us. I was so glad not to have to sit and listen to her scream while I pumped and I was also so relieved to finally start to get some sleep. Not sleeping hardly at all for 3 weeks following the most physically difficult experience of my life (labor) was the hardest thing I have ever done. Once I stopped pumping (my milk dried up in two days because I hardly had any to start with) our lives were 100% better and I really began to enjoy being Lily's mom. She was also happier because she was getting all of the food she required and all of the cuddling time she needed with a mom who was not hating life anymore.

Now, 6 months after the events described above, I am starting to forget the bad and only remember the good. I remember holding Lily for the first time, giving her her first bath, spending one on one time with her in the middle of the night, and just loving her to pieces. I am beyond thankful that she has been such a healthy baby in spite of not being able to breastfeed and I can only hope that I am able to breastfeed my next baby. But if I can't, I am going to try and cut myself a little more slack because if there is anything I have learned in the last six months it is this - I am not perfect and I cannot do it all. I am not the perfect mother and that is okay. I love Lily more than I ever would have even dreamed possible and that is what matters. If someone told me that I needed to go through those 17 1/2 hours of labor and those 3 first weeks of torture again right now in order to keep my precious Lily I would do it in a second, no question about it. She is fearfully and wonderfully made and I am beyond blessed to be her mom!

Autumn is Here!

There is a corn maze about 30 minutes away from where we live. Yes, a corn maze. I have ALWAYS wanted to go to it and every time we drive past the corn maze sign I tell Chris that going to the corn maze is on my life's to do list. As of today I can cross it off! We went to the corn maze and accompanying pumpkin patch this morning and it was amazing! So much fun! A little muddier than I expected (hence my poor footwear choice of sandals) but overall it was just as fun as I had imagined it to be. Here are LOTS of pictures from a great morning.

This was my view for pretty much all of the corn maze. I have ZERO sense of direction and if I was in charge of navigation I would still be in that maze right now. Actually, I would probably be re-creating the first Thanksgiving in that maze because there's no way I would have gotten out before Christmas. Thankfully Chris is super directionally talented so he led the way. In fact, at one point we had an entire pack of people behind us because Chris was the only one who had any idea where we were.

Here's Lily trying to help Dad navigate.


"Or maybe I'll just eat the map." - Lily


"Or maybe I'll eat this leaf instead." - Lily


Though Chris was in charge of directions within the maze, I tried to help when I could.There were trivia questions that helped us decide whether to turn left or right at various forks in the corn and thankfully every sheet had a Girl Scout related question! I owned those and therefore made a small contribution to the navigation of the corn maze. :)


Lily and Mommy in the corn.


Chris got hungry and needed a snack ...


What a cute corn baby!

Daddy explaining corn to Lily. They both look very focused.


After the corn maze we headed over to the pumpkin patch. Chris was jealous of Lily's hat so he stole it for the walk over.


"What? Yeah, these are my pumpkins. I do what I want!" - Lily


Lily and Mommy in the pumpkins.


One of my all time favorite pictures of Lily.


Family photo!

Lily is 6 Months Old!

Wow! Where has the time gone? The memories of Lily's birth are still so vivid that it does not seem like it could have been 6 months ago already! The fact is that yesterday Lily turned 6 months old and she is cuter than ever! There are just no words to express how much I adore this little girl. She has her 6th month check-up tomorrow so I'll post all her stats in a few days, but in the meantime here are some of Lily's characteristics and quirks at 6 months old ...

Lily smiles a ton. She is a very happy baby! She is just starting to get ticklish and likes it when her Daddy blows on her belly. Her laugh is so sweet and adorable!

Lily loves her toys and especially loves putting them in her mouth. She also loves her jumperoo as long as someone sits next to her while she is in it. Her favorite parts of her toys are the tags - she will turn her toy over and go directly for the soft, silky tag on it. I think she likes the contrast of the black writing on the white tag but who knows. :)

Lily is has outgrown her infant car seat because she is so tall. We purchased a new Britax car seat on Amazon (they were having a big Britax sale so we got a great price) and will be installing it tonight! This will be a big change for us because she isn't quite ready for a high chair so restaurants are going to be a little tricky for a bit but I am really enjoying the idea of not having to lug Lily in her car seat up the stairs to our apartment. Man, that car seat is heavy!

Lily is now sitting up on her own very well. She has really improved even in just the last week. She now cries to be picked up before she has time to fall over so the longest we have seen her sitting is about 10 minutes. The only tricky part is if she looks up in the air at something because then she will fall backwards. :)

Lily's barfing is improving dramatically! She can go entire days without a barf now and we are VERY thankful to be putting that behind us! She is eating some solid food - rice cereal and sweet potatoes so far. She had a tough time with it at the beginning but she is really catching on and seems to be enjoying her new foods now.

Lily has learned that she doesn't have to expend the energy of crying to get us to pay attention to her - she just has to moan. It is almost like she is giving us a little bit of warning ... like she is saying "Pick me up now or you'll be sorry in a few minutes!" We are so over the moon about her that even her moaning is cute ... sometimes. :)

Lily is sleeping SO much better than she was before! If we are at home all day she will take two naps of about an hour each and then sleeps from about 8-9pm until 7am. Oh happy day! Life has gotten so much better now that she sleeps through the night and now that she is napping so much better (well, she wakes up a couple of times a night but goes right back down once someone assists her with her pacifier.). Those little breaks in the day allow me to get things done that need to get done and then focus on Lily more when she is awake instead of trying to do everything all at once. I think one of the main differences is that now that she can roll over she sleeps exclusively on her tummy. I know that is a no-no nowadays but she flips herself over as soon as she is in her crib and that seems to have really helped her sleep better and longer.

Here is a picture of Lily on her 6 month birthday, which also happened to be my Dad's actual birthday. :) She may be 6 months old but she is still little enough to love sleeping on her Daddy's chest.

Scooter Booter

One of my nicknames is Scooter. My dad has called me Scooter (or Scooter Booter if we're being more formal) for as long as I can remember. I am not sure where the name came from or how it has stuck around for so long, but the name lingers to this day and I have grown to love it. Now there is another Scooter on the block ... Lily! She may only be 5 1/2 months old but she is already a mover and a shaker! She often does 180 degree turns in her crib and she has begun scooting around on the floor while we are playing. Now, she's not going to be running any races anytime soon, but she is getting stronger everyday and we are excited to see her grow. She'll be crawling in no time!

So are you guys sick of the videos yet? I sure hope not! Here is a super cute video of Lily and her scooting. It is a little long because Lily got distracted by smiling for the camera but I promise, she does scoot in the second half! :) You can also see how Lily constantly kicks her left leg a la the last video. Feel free to skip the video if you are short on time but she really is cute. (If you are reading this on Facebook you can see the video on www.chrisandmeganhartley.blogspot.com.)

Yes, that is a keyboard we placed in front of her to entice her to scoot. Lily LOVES to punch on the computer keyboard. Well, maybe SLAM is a better word. :) Chris unhooks the keyboard from the computer and lets her go wild. If you know Chris at all then you know that sharing his electronics with Lily is the ultimate act of love. The keyboard is excellent motivation for our little Scooter Booter! :)

Lily Sits Up!

Now that Lily is almost 6 months old she is starting to learn how to sit up! She has been doing it for a couple of weeks now but she is really getting the hang of it. She can now sit up for a few minutes at a time before falling over. She hates the falling over part but seems to enjoy sitting and chewing on her toys. :) We "practice" her sitting everyday and it is fun to see her getting stronger and stronger.

Sitting up like a big girl!


Still sitting up but a little slouchy ...


And she's down.


Couch cushion solution!

Future Soccer Player?

Lily kicked like crazy when she was in my belly and the kicking continues to this day. She kicks no matter where she is ... in her car seat, in her crib, in our arms (ouch!), and most of all, in her swing! Here is a video of her kicking in her swing today.

She is such a cutie! We hope she never kicks hard enough to break that swing because it has been a life saver and we have no idea what we are going to do when she outgrows it! Lily can also reach the toys in the swing's mobile since she has Chris's incredibly long monkey arms. When she grabs one while the mobile is rotating it makes a horribly loud clicking sound that she finds very entertaining. We tell her "NO!" but she thinks that is even more hilarious than the clicking noise! We could be in for a bumpy ride ... :)